13 October 2007

Step right up and witnesss the invisible fat person

Just in case I forgot, shopping is pain in my ass. You see, I'm short, fat, and have DDs. This means I must look like goddamn Granny Grunt-Grunt. And, frankly, I'm tired of looking like a 65-year-old grandmother at the ripe age of 26. Seriously. I get it. I'm an infuckingvisible ninja in the world. Never mind how many people are overweight in the fucking country, we're all invisible. Just ask the fashion industry since a size 8 is plus sized. And I can please just add that what looks good on Kate Moss will unequivocally not look good on my ass. And I'm so damn tired of seeing the same goddamn designs and trends in the big people section. Seriously, get the fuck over it designers. It. Doesn't. Look. Good. Ever.

All I wanted was a fucking winter jacket. I hate going top shopping at Lane Bryant's. See the last part of my rant. And I'm sorry that I don't fucking starve myself. SO glad I'm represented. This is why I hate shopping. Because there's nothing like making a customer like a goddamn waste of space to up confidence. It's just bad when the men's sections don't fit cause you've got DDs now.

So...Drano? Looks like a terrific option. Truly. Cause this was just the cake after being told I need to take meds cause I'm spilling protein in my urine and my kidneys need to be taken care of now. Fantastic. I'm 26 with a body of a fucking 65-year-old.

I'm sitting here trying to battle back tears, and my godmom coming in and shooting off places to try (that I've already TOLD her I marked off for good reasons) and not LISTENING to me when I say "No" doesn't help. Christ.

I'll take that Drano cocktail now.



Blogger Misty Dawn said...

Listen you - stop talking like that (I know, easier said than done when you are pissed and tired). I like you bunches - so THERE ;-) And, I know the last thing you want right now is another 'suggestion', but have you looked online? Ok, I'll shut up now before I ruin our friendship - I just don't like knowing that you are so upset.

By the way, I'll gladly take some of your DD to add to my AAs!!! (Ok, shutting up now)

6:55 PM  
Blogger Pug Mom said...

I am totally with you on the shopping sucks ass thing. Within the last two years, I've gone from a size six to a size 12/14 (depending on whether I wear petites or normal) - mostly because of depression and hypothyroidism messing up my metabolism. And I've put off going shopping for new clothes for so long, because it just feels so embarrassing to walk into a store and see that the biggest size is a 14 and just barely fits me. There are some stores that don't even HAVE clothes that fit me - like Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, Bebe, etc.... And I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate those that mislabel sizes - their 16 is actually a 12. ARGH! I feel like a whale. And it's so wrong! I don't really LOOK fat (at least, that's what people tell me) - I just happen to have curves, and the fashion industry punishes me by making my clothing choices rather limited. It's fucking retarded, and it's just gotta stop. I wish some designers would have the balls to actually design something for REAL women - because it's ridiculously easy to design something for Kate Moss. Everything fits her - she's a goddamn hanger. But US? No, it's a challenge to find something that fits us and looks nice. Blah. Okay, my rant is done...

But keep your chin up! We all hate clothing, and it's not our fault. Hell, if we had lived just a few years ago, we wouldn't have to deal with this shit - every one of our clothes would have been tailored and handmade. That was a good idea. Too bad it's gone out of fashion....

10:26 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

Misty Dawn, I'm still majorly upset and took Monday off from school. Screw it. I have that A. What's he gonna do? Take away my birthday? We weren't doing anything and I covered all the homework in less time than normal.

What upset was the fact people that aren't a size 0 and have big ass knockers aren't really represented in stores...even ones, like Lane Bryant, that are supposed to specialize in that. It makes me wonder if these designers actually walk outside in the daylight and misses the fact bigger people aren't so uncommon anymore. And looking like Granny Grunt-Grunt makes me feel worse. I've had to start shopping in the men's section cause they have more room. But even their jackets didn't fit. Which was awful for me. Talk about demoralizing.

I ended up getting a jacket off Lane Bryant's website, since I hate going into their stores. Mostly 'cause they have this desire to try and make a size 18 (not my size, for the record) look like a size 8. Sorry, there's not magical outfit that makes you look like that. And it's frustrating when the fashion industry says an 8 is plus-sized. It's kinda ridiculous.

And you can have some of my DDs. I've been trying to give them away for ages. I'd like to be a 38C, so you can have the leftovers with my blessings.

8:12 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

Pug Mom, I've been a size six...once. And I was about 2 weeks from being in the ER in a coma. I have literally never shopped in Forever 21, Rusee, Bebe. Literally, I couldn't fit a leg into it. I think it's a problem within the fashion industry because according to America's Next Top Model, a size 8 is plus sized. Really? REALLY? Cause in the real world, that's in the smaller spectrum. And if that's a plus sized, it's no wonder they can't design for someone that has an ounce of body fat on their body. Because there's a major problem and disconnect. I'm sorry, but Kate Moss isn't standard. Nor is most of the most of the country on cocaine, either. Heroin chic has been over since the news actually started covering the fact that fat people? Totally exist and aren't in the collective imagination of the world.

I hate the mislabeled sizes. I think there should be a standard. Because it's confusing as hell. And it demoralizes an already bankrupt person even more when shopping. I think part of it is that I'm not happy with my size, but I realize until I'm committed to fix the problem, I'm stuck this way. And right now, I don't have the emotional resources to get smaller - for my benefit, not pretty clothes. I accept and acknowledge this, but it doesn't help me, either way.

I don't think I'd wanna live in the handmade clothes era. Because I enjoy my freedoms as a woman. But if we brought it back, that'd be nice. Because the designers have no idea that every body type is different and requires alternations. But who can afford to alter every single one of this clothes? Especially when we spend 40-50 dollars on a pair of jeans as it is.

8:47 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

If it makes you feel any better, I have a weight problem too, but in the other direction. I have a hyper thyroid and can't keep weight ON. I have to work hard to keep my weight up. I weigh about 95 pounds, am 5'4", AND have DD's.

They don't make clothes for me either. I used to at least be able to find some things that fit in the kids' section, but they're making them wider now than they used to. There is not a single designer on the planet that makes clothes that fit me, I go around wearing tents, and I have to special order my bras.

I wish designers would get it, period. They don't seem to think its possible to be thin with large breasts, or wide with small breasts, or have a small top but a large bottom or vise versa.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

See, this is why I think designers need to leave the runways occasionally. It's completely unrealistic to imagine that everyone looks the same. I can remember being about 13 and seeing women in their 40s shopping in the kids section because adult areas didn't quite under the process then. I guess they've gotten wider as the collective kids have gotten wider.

It's frustrating, because it makes you hate shopping, right? It's like why bother when you can't look good. Not everyone looks like Tyra (when she was a runway model at least), or Kate, or Cindy, or Carol Alt. We're all individuals.

I watch shows like America's Next Top Model and Project Runway and cringe because of the way they treat people who don't look skeleton. And then they wonder why girls have issues (and guys, can't forget them). It's really obvious, but the judges don't get it. It's not that difficult, really.

1:54 AM  

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