Go Go Gadget

Okay, so I've talked all about my weird family (lord, are they weird), but I don't think I've told enough on me. Now, I could tell you all about chopping my hair off in defiance of my dad's marrying the Whore From Hell, but I won't. Instead I'll tell some random facts about me as a child.

• I would eat chapstick and lipstick like some kids eat candy. Why, the world will never know. But I did. I also loved to eat TP and notebook paper. And I did this until I was...12, I think.
• According to my godmom, right before one of my ballet recitals, she told me no on whatever I wanted. Bad idea. I did everything backwards in the recital. And more parents were taking pictures of me than their own kids. Not that I could blame them. I was a damn cute kid. Smartass to the nth degree, but cute. Big blue eyes, Barbie blonde hair, and ivory skin. Oh, yes. I was the cutest thing and knew it. After the recital, I was never told no again.
• Because my attitude, I made the local paper when they came to my ballet school for a fluff story. My picture was the one showed. And I strutted for awhile. No one was cooler than me.
• I was kicked out of ballet, swimming, jazz dancing, tap dancing, gymnastics, and ballet again before I was in kindergarten. I was just that cool. They kept trying to fob me off on to another teacher.
• In gymnastics, I told the other kids they could go home. The teacher had me and they weren't needed. I did this more than once.
• At Downtown Disney in Orlando, I played hide and go seek...without bothering to tell my godmoms. Oh, yes. They had everyone looking for me (including security) and I was hiding under the register. The sales lady found me and I told her "Shh, I'm hiding." Godmoms were so happy to find me that I didn't get in trouble, even though everyone was ready to have a heart attack. Bat the eyelashes and everyone would forgive me.
• And finally, because god knows the list could be long, I was invited to go pet the dolphins on stage at Sea World when I was seven. Me being the person that adores dolphins and orcas, I jumped at the chance. Well, the trainer goes, "At the count of three, jump in and go swimming." He started counting and by three I was ready to fly in. He caught me be the seat of my homemade parachute pants. Oh, yes. These were dayglo colored and patterned from the kids' fabric section. I'm a natural born swimmer, so this was no problem in my book. The bad part was that there was some Begulas on the other side and I probably shouldn't go swimming with random animals.

So there you go. Random stories and facts. And all that before I was ten. I have more (seriously, I can recite the stories at this point) but that's enough for now. I'm particularly proud of the last one. Hey, dolphins. I was going swimming. I still would. Wait, I did. Kinda. Another story for another time.

Time to go get my high school transcripts after a quick shower.