20 August 2006

Day of Nothing

So, I'm not really sure what to write about at the moment. A lot's flying through my mind, but you know, that doesn't mean it's substancey. Though, it's getting close to my birthday, and being a quarter of a century then, I've started examining my life. Or rather how little I've accomplished in it, by society standards anyway. I'm nowhere near where I want to be. (I have a sinking feeling that I'll be 40 before I get anywhere near my PhD in Psychology.) And mentally speaking? Well, I'm in a better place than I was five years ago, but I'd like to be a little more together. Drifting is for the freaking birds. After Labor Day, I'll be doing some serious job searching. I need a) an income but mostly b) a schedule and purpose. I flounder without b and that's just no damn fun.

Also, I need more friends, like the kind I actually want to be around and can call and them show up. I understand my former on/off best friend is a newlywed, but she's the one that wanted us to be in contact after two years of not, so why does it land on me to do everything? I really need to get out and socialize. Maybe working at the zoo, even just a quick volunteer a couple hours a month, will help with that. Plus? The ZOO. The freaking zoo. Animals. Lions, Tigers, and Gorillas (though, they freak me the hell out) oh my!

It doesn't help that I'm feeling disconnected with my city. Now for most people, probably not a problem. But for me? Big freaking problem. I'm Southern, damn proud of it too, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. Like I'm waiting until I'm where I need to be. Bah, see! This is why I hate birthdays. They make you dredge up crap you wish you could keep buried deep.

Phooey, this is depressing. Well, okay. Now I'm going to go to bed since I've a) made a fool of myself at DH's blog and b) babbled on about stuff I don't even put up in my actual jouranl. Bah. Bed time for sure.

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home